Pain of growing up

Heya,

Sorry its been so long since I have posted anything. To be honest I just haven't felt like writing. I have been coming to terms with my evolving roll as a parent, its been kind of hard and a very painful to work this out.

All of our kids have left home....well and come back again...and left again and...., The thing is we want to help our children as we always have but, now that there adults our normal ways of doing things no longer apply. Now that there all making there own decisions and living by there own set of rules and boundaries. Our imposed or seemingly imposed rules dont work anymore.
The problem has been, how do we help our kids but at the same time make them responsible for there own action and there own futures. Whats even worse is they come home looking for answers or advice, but chose not to follow the advice or accept the answers given.

My father once said to me, " The hardest thing I have ever had to do as your Dad is to stand back and let you make your own mistakes. I want more than anything to protect you from the mistakes that I made, but some of life's lesson you have to learn yourself. Even if that means standing back as you do something that I know is going to cause you pain".

I thought I knew what he meant, but I had no clue until I was in that position. I just wish he had lived long enough to share with me how he did it now that I'm in that same position.
Because what we have been doing is not working and because my wife and I have come to the conclusion that the best way to help our children at this point is to stop focusing on there well being and to focus on ours. We are making an appointment with a counselor to get some advice on this. I have gone to a counselor in the past and it helped allot. I'm hoping we can find someone that will help us through this.
You know learning to be a good parent has been one of the hardest things I have ever attempted. Now that my main roll in life has changed from being a full time parent to that of a Grandparent. Its both easier and harder at the same time. I like to look back at my younger self and laugh at how easy and black and white life was and would be. Used to be I couldn't wait to grow up. Now I know that we never ever fully grow up. Funny how that works, the more I learn the more I realise how little I know

Ill keep you posted, and Ill try to post more often.
Dan